Saturday, February 28, 2009

Spare the rod, spoil the child

I've never believed in sparing the rod. It seems that now the British are finally agreeing that this doesn't work, according to today's newspapers. Why? Kids that are spared the rod mostly lack discipline, and they lack respect to elders. There are of course exceptions, but sparing the rod is not the cure all solution.

I've heard stories from many of my friends, and its seems that over here, sparing the rod is the current trend. However, I've seen it taken in a new twist. It seems that pushing the blame, has also been in-corporated into sparing the rod.

Now it seems that parents not only spare the rod, they blame others for the mistakes their child makes. Let's say for example if the child doesn't do their homework, and thus couldn't score well. Back in my days, my parents will punish me, and take the extra effort to make sure I study. Now? It seems that the parents scold the teachers that they are not teaching correctly. I mean this is totally ridiculous! If your child is not studying, what can the teachers do? Then I find it very amusing that the parents like to use their parents' letter to apply MC for their child. My question is... Can you write a MC to your boss if you're sick? If your child is late, then face the consequences. That's the "rod".

In the normal working environment, the boss will fire a worker if they are not performing. What can the teacher do? Fire the student? Like it or not, there's a baby in all of us. We need to have boundaries defined around us. The "rod" helps to define the boundaries. In the case of a worker, the "rod" can be a pay cut, or a dismissal. If adults need to have such boundaries defined, why on earth parents think that kids should not have such boundaries defined?

Like it or not, how your children turns out depends largely on the parents, not the teachers. Nowadays you see some children scolding adults, rushing for seats when they are in public transport, and jumping queues... There are of course other factors that induce such behaviour, but sparing the rod does not help.

Look after your own children, and not push the job of parenting to someone else. The rod is there for a reason. Use it wisely... Note that the word "spare" is used, not "avoid".

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