Thursday, April 10, 2008

Beware of your "encouragement"

I quote from the Slice of Life:

We also may compare the negative qualities of one person with another, especially with our kids or our subordinates. For example, we might say to our child "Our neighbour Mrs Choo's son always does so much better in school than you. And he's always so polite and obedient." We hope of course that by saying something to that effect, we will motivate our child to improve his performance, but very often, this kind of language just crushes his heart. He grows up feeling inferior and that he does not make his parents feel proud.

Some parents might think that instilling fear in their children will inspire them to work harder. But experiences arising from discouragement and condemnation will usually have a negative impact on the recipient. We should always encourage, never belittle.

So give your words more deliberation before you speak. They can build or harm relationships, and empower men or crush them.

I totally agree with this. I always do not like to compare myself with any other person. I'm myself, and I'm unique. What one person is doing doesn't necessarily mean that I must follow, no matter how "good" it is. In fact, I'm a very good example of a person who gets bad grades if I have tuition, and good grades when I do not have. :)

Low self-esteem will be a much bigger problem. Inspiring this kind of fear will most probably lead them down this path. Encourage in a different way... Think before you speak.

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